The past is hard for me. I don't really like a lot of parts of my past. There are many parts that I look back on quite fondly, but there are also parts that I look back on and I get sick to my stomach. Here's the thing, I wouldn't trade those moments (good or bad) for anything in this world. They have shaped and formed me into the lady I am today. Granted, I'm not perfect. I haven't reached my full potential. God's not done with me. There will always be work that needs to be done in and through me. There will always be parts of me that need healing. I will always be on a journey. My destination will never be reached, and I love that.
Other people's pasts are also hard for me. Why? I have no idea. My heart aches when I know the events and wrongs that have happened to people in my life. Suffering is such an awful thing and it kills me to know so many have suffered. It especially hurts me to know that a lot of people regret and wish they could change their pasts. I don't believe our pasts define us, but they do shape us into who we are today. Without the events and people entered our pasts, none of us would be who we are now. Our character would be different, our values, our priorities, our demeanor...the list goes on. Yet I become resentful when I view other's pasts aches. I either resent the event or the people that hurt these loved ones.
Yet I know these events, these people, these parts of us all bring us to where we are. And I am so grateful for where I am today. I am so grateful that my past has led me to be at the job I'm at, to have the close knit family I have, to live in the state (oh beautiful Colorado) I'm in, to have the friends around me I have. I'm so grateful that the circumstances have somehow brought the people in my life to where they are and how they are. Your past may suck. Your past may be beautiful. But you are where you are for a reason. Your journey is not over. The important thing is to seek God's will for the next step. Stay close to Him. He may not have an easy road planned for you, but He promises that He will do good. He will always protect you, even if it doesn't seem like it at the time. He will always bring you to the other side. And sometimes, not always, but sometimes, the other side is truly greener.
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